Been up all night. I’m really scared and wanted to ask for prayer for another specific thing. Richie’s exhausted. Late last night he was having weird dreams and thinking he’s seeing things in our room. Then, he was extremely confused…couldn’t remember where he worked, and I had to explain pretty much everything that has happened in the last week. He said it was all starting to come back to him, but kept making comments like “it’s scary out there, nobody knows me.” We had a rather rough day yesterday with a man down the hall who is trying to sell us pot and thinks he’s god. He was outside the door much of the night last night talking to nurses loudly about us and other things and we were scared. Richie called security.
I cried some in the night and Richie seemed so mad and frustrated. He’s never snapped at me or ordered me around before, and all of a sudden he is. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know he’s doing it. I just don’t know what to do and am barely keeping it together. While he’s awake I’ve been able to stay calm and tell him he’ll be fine and just needs to get some more good sleep, but my own words aren’t comforting to me and I don’t know if they are to him. I’m trusting that the Lord is going to bring us through this one too, but I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to continue this way without losing my mind. I’m so scared that Richie’s lost his. He’s so upset and scared about the surgery tomorrow. I keep telling him it’s going to be quick and easy and he’ll be right on track again, and that God has been with us every step of the way and won't leave us now. To me the memories tied with the surgery waiting room are so sickening that I think I’ll vomit if I have to step foot in there again. I am having such a battle within myself between these awful sickening feelings and the knowledge that this medical care is saving Richie’s life. I know it is and I am so very thankful for the good thorough surgery that was done. But it doesn’t seem to make the thought of another surgery any easier to bear.
Thank you for all of your prayers you guys. We have seen God answering and doing amazing things. Richie is sleeping soundly right now, and I’m just praying that he’s going to be himself again after a few more hours.