Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Hard Night

Been up all night.  I’m really scared and wanted to ask for prayer for another specific thing.  Richie’s exhausted. Late last night he was having weird dreams and thinking he’s seeing things in our room.  Then, he was extremely confused…couldn’t remember where he worked, and I had to explain pretty much everything that has happened in the last week.  He said it was all starting to come back to him, but kept making comments like “it’s scary out there, nobody knows me.”   We had a rather rough day yesterday with a man down the hall who is trying to sell us pot and thinks he’s god.  He was outside the door much of the night last night talking to nurses loudly about us and other things and we were scared.  Richie called security. 

I cried some in the night and Richie seemed so mad and frustrated.  He’s never snapped at me or ordered me around before, and all of a sudden he is.  I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know he’s doing it.  I just don’t know what to do and am barely keeping it together.  While he’s awake I’ve been able to stay calm and tell him he’ll be fine and just needs to get some more good sleep, but my own words aren’t comforting to me and I don’t know if they are to him.  I’m trusting that the Lord is going to bring us through this one too, but I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to continue this way without losing my mind.  I’m so scared that Richie’s lost his.  He’s so upset and scared about the surgery tomorrow.  I keep telling him it’s going to be quick and easy and he’ll be right on track again, and that God has been with us every step of the way and won't leave us now.  To me the memories tied with the surgery waiting room are so sickening that I think I’ll vomit if I have to step foot in there again.  I am having such a battle within myself between these awful sickening feelings and the knowledge that this medical care is saving Richie’s life.  I know it is and I am so very thankful for the good thorough surgery that was done.  But it doesn’t seem to make the thought of another surgery any easier to bear.
Thank you for all of your prayers you guys.  We have seen God answering and doing amazing things.  Richie is sleeping soundly right now, and I’m just praying that he’s going to be himself again after a few more hours.   

16 comments :

  1. My Dear Sweet Daughter,
    It IS all going to be okay. You will both be back to your normal selves real soon and it will all be over. Please rememeber though it seems that you are all alone at times, our Heavenly Father is always with you. Keep your eyes on Him, lean into His strength, crawl up into His lap, and allow His loving arms to enfold you. He loves you so much, and loves being your Father and Good Shepherd, taking care of your every need. He is carrying you through this valley to brighter days ahead.

    We will be there soon!
    I love you so much,
    Mommy

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  2. Lydia and Richie,

    A year from now, we will look back on this and rejoice. How is this possible? Because we know that God causes all things work together for good! This suffering is not going to last. And though it may be hard, God will always be enough. I know the world may seem like it is crashing down right now, that you feel like you are on the brink of going crazy, but that is what Satan wants you to believe. I believe that if we could see God's plan in your trial the last six months, we would be crying tears of joy! So keep strong! God loves you both more than you can possibly fathom. I encourage you to read your Bible as often as possible today!

    I love and admire you both,

    Kyle

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  3. Richie and Ludia, our hearts are with you thru these new trials. You remain(Hebrews 1:11) Precious ones, as you sit alone during the night, and alone; remember there is someone who is unseen and just within your reach. Satan will try to attack, and blur your vision, but that will NOT remove Him (our glorious Lord and Saviour ) from your room! A quote from Samuel Dickey Gordon: " Recognize the presence of the Master. He is here, close to you, and His presence IS real. Yes, there is a presence, and He is a warmhearted Friend and the all-powerful Lord. This is a joyful truth for weeping hearts everywhere, no matter the reason for the tears, or whatever stream their weeping willow is planted beside." We pray you both to feel that unseen presence, which is wonderful quieting, soothing, calming, and warming. We praise God that this other issue was discovered now, and Richie will not have to go back later. It had to be a hard thing, when you you anticipating going home by Christmas, but we are picturing all the Christmas times before you, thru God's healing grace upon you at this time.

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  4. Oh Lydia. It was so good to see you yesterday. This has been such an emotional week for me. When I saw you I didn't trust myself to speak. Watching you through this journey has blessed me so much. I have felt so close to the Lord recently. He has been walking right beside me during this hard time, and I know He has done the same for you. As tears were rolling down my face on the way home last night, this song came into my mind. You should look up the lyrics and read them also… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISmw1Xx0VLY

    When I heard Richie pray last night, I was reminded of how strong his walk is with the Lord. He prayed for the man next door... With everything Richie is going through. He prays for his neighbor, that God would give you opportunities to witness to that man's lost soul. Wow.

    I love you both so much and am praying ever so hard. My favorite verse also plays through my head throughout the day: Pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks, and the peace of Christ, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your heart.

    May you grow closer to our Loving Father this day,
    I love you dearly,
    Victoria

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  5. Dear Lydia,
    We are praying very hard for you and Richie. Please don't give up hope. Just keep remembering God loves you, like you have been doing...... and that He is right there standing over you and Richie. (His angels are also there to protect you!)

    You are such an inspiration to me Lydia! You are the sweetest, loving-est , kindest, ambitious, talented young woman I have ever met! :-) Please keep holding on!! :-)

    I love you dear sister! '' Your need is so small compared to His ability to meet it.''
    ~ Hannah

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  6. My Strong and Courageous, sweet sister,

    You are the best help meet a man could ever have. Lydia, you are being an absolutely wonderful example of being Jesus’ love to Richie! He could not go through this without you! I know Richie LOVES YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!

    The Lord loves you both so much, although many times we wonder what His plans are, in these moments of such hard trials. But, you and Richie are continuing to cling to the knowledge that He loves you and wants the best for you. Psalm 36:5 says, "Your loving-kindness, O Lord, extends to the heavens, Your faithfulness reaches to the skies." Richie so encouraged Mommy and I, when we were with you all on Sunday morning. He spoke of how God has been 100% faithful through this long road. And we know that He will continue to walk with you both, for the rest of your lives!

    Benjamin has a new sing-a-long video (the NIV kids club.) And of course he LOVES it, and watches it a couple times a day, well . . . the result is, that we have these catchy tunes stuck in our heads all day. One of the verses from one of the songs, hopefully will encourage you. It is from Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He WILL NOT FAIL YOU OR FORSAKE YOU." You have been given a gift, Lydia, to be a strong and courageous woman, as the Lord works in you. You are exactly watch Richie needs!

    We will be praying for peace for you and Richie today, and that the surgery will go quick and smoothly. Before you know it, you and Richie will be back on your farm and in your cozy cabin enjoying God's fresh air and creation.

    I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Your siblings will be with you in spirit today!!!

    The Great Physician is with you today, and always!
    Valerie

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  7. Dear sweet Lydia

    I am so sorry to hear of your hard night last night.

    I am constantly praying for you and Richie, that you feel God's presense and comfort with you always. I pray that 'the peace of God that surpasses all comprehension will guard you hearts and minds in Christ Jesus our Lord'.

    I love you sooo much!

    Caroline

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  8. My dear Lydia,
    Sometimes the days seem darkest right before the sun shines though. You both have been through so much, but it is almost over. The meds for Richie are altering his nervous system, so you have to realize that he is not quite himself right now. Richie has proved that he loves you dearly and things will be back to normal soon. Kyle is right that Satan would like to tear you both down, but God is in control so you have to look to Jesus to give you this last measure of strenght needed to get through this ordeal. I am sure it has seemed never ending, but it is soon to be over. We love you so much and just wish I could put my arms around you both. Meemom & Papa Bob

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  9. Dear Lydia.... As I was praying for you this song came to my mind.

    A while back a friend gave me a cd that had this song on it. Whenever I am going through a trial, I like to sing it.... It makes me remember that no matter what I go through God is always there.
    There is nothing that I have to face that God can not take care of! :-)

    Through It All
    I've had many tears and sorrows,
    I've had questions for tomorrow,
    There've been times I didn't know right from wrong:
    But in every situation God gave blessed consolation
    That my trials come to only make me strong.
    Through it all, through it all,
    I've learned to trust in Jesus,
    I've learned to trust in God;
    Through it all, through it all,
    I've learned to depend upon His Word.

    I've been to lots of places,
    And I've seen a lot of faces,
    There've been times I felt so all alone;
    But in my lonely hours,
    Yes, those precious lonely hours,
    Jesus let me know that I was His own.

    Through it all, through it all,
    I've learned to trust in Jesus,
    I've learned to trust in God;
    Through it all, through it all,
    I've learned to depend upon His Word.

    I thank God for the mountains,
    And I thank Him for the valleys,
    I thank Him for the storms
    He brought me through;
    For if I'd never had a problem
    I wouldn't know that He could solve them,
    I'd never know what faith in God could do.

    Through it all, through it all,
    I've learned to trust in Jesus,
    I've learned to trust in God;
    Through it all, through it all,
    I've learned to depend upon His Word.

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  10. Lydia:

    Sending you and Richie big cyber hugs . . . praying for your strength and that Richie's procedure today will be a success . . . Tom has a "Tomism" : God doesn't waste anything and He won't waste this journey you and Richie are struggling through . . . during Richie's first surgery we shared John 12:46 I come a Light unto the world that all who believeth in Me will not walk in darkness . . . You and Richie are in His Light - we pray that you will feel His Light more and more with each passing moment Thank you for the updates . . . they have been a blesssing and have helped us focus prayers for you both . . . with love . . . Tom and Pat

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    Replies
    1. Dear Sweet Lydia:
      Blessed are the poor in spirit for yours is the kingdom of God
      Blessed are those who mourn for they SHALL be comforted
      Blessed are the meek for they SHALL inherit the earth
      Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for rightousness for they SHALL be filled
      Blessed are the merciful for they SHALL obtain mercy
      Blessed are the pure in heart for they SHALL see God
      Blessed are the peacemakers for they SHALL be called the sons and daughters of God
      Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Taken from Matthew 5
      Not just words of poetry but words from our Lord Jesus- we look forward to seeing what the Lord SHALL do in your lives as you face this great and terrible trial with an eternal perspective! Let us also remember these words from James chapter 1-

      James 1:3-5 (KJV) 3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

      Praying fervently for you, The McDonald Family

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  11. You both have been on our minds and in our prayers in many ways. You know that we can trust God...He loves us and never sends a test that He will not strengthen us to bear. Love from Jeanie and me.

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  12. Lydia,

    Sorry to hear about the need for more surgery, but you are correct its better to get it over with as soon as it can be done. It is tough times, but you will get through it. As far as Richie not being himself, its the meds. Everybody reacts differently and its not at all uncommon for people to hallucinate or get confused during the recovery process. I have been involved with three different events that parallel Richie's situation and all had issues like you are describing. So remember its NOT you or Richie being upset at you its the situation at hand. He sings your praises all the time when we discuss home life while at work.

    I understand Ron is coming up Wednesday, and I would like to stop by Friday if that would be ok with the both of you. I don't want to overload with visiting but I'm not sure how many people have been able to break away to visit either. That being said don't wait until you feel like collapsing, if you need someone up there call work (985-2222)and have them patch you through to me. I could most likely leave fairly quick and head up to the hospital.

    In christian faith,
    John Lambert

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  13. Lydia~ We are praying for you sweet sister!! It is hard being in Richie's position with surgeries,and meds, and unwanted news of more surgery yet he is letting his light shine before men. From a nurse position medications can really mess with your head especially when your exhausted. Most people if they knew they were ordering people around or whatever feel terrible when they are themselves again. You know the unmedicated Richie and his overflowing love for you just remember that if this happens again. You my dear are an amazing person and are shining even though you may not feel it sometimes. It's amazing when we think we cannot take one more thingand the Lord says sure you can and gives us the strength we need to go on. He knows every thought see's every tear and is holding the two of you in his arms. Be encouraged and know we all are thinking of you and fervently praying! Love you So so much!! Vickie for all the Adams.

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  14. Sweet girl, take heart, for God is in control. As I read your recap of Richie's behavior, it reminded me of my mother following a serious surgery many years ago. She had an infection and they put her on a very strong antibiotic. Well, she had a reaction to that medication that made her hallucinate like crazy. She thought there were ambulances driving into the closet, and that my dad was jumping on the foot of her bed. It was just a reaction to the meds, and we all look back on it now and laugh about it. Richie's confusion will pass, too. It is sometimes the brain's defense mechanism to carry us through the recovery period, but I am SURE he will be back to normal soon, and probably won't remember any of those words he spoke to you.(And by the way, don't forget you can always ask the nurses when something like that has you concerned, whether it is a medical issue or a behavior issue. I am betting they have seen it all and would be able to provide you with an encouraging explanation.)

    I am praying for a restful night and renewed strength tomorrow to meet the day. Lean on Him, and do take advantage of all the offers from your loved ones for help and support. It will bless them to bless you. Sending you much love.
    Donna

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  15. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts! God is using you all in amazing ways. I was so blessed this morning to go on my email and see message after message come in from all of you. Thank you so much for being there for us in one of the darkest times of our lives. It has been a tough road, but it has also been a BLESSED road and we have had the opportunity to witness God's hand at every turn. Each one of you are special to us. I can't wait to read all of your comments to Richie after he's gotten some rest. We are rejoicing because of God’s love and yours!

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