Tuesday, September 18, 2012

The Good the Bad and the Ugly.

It's been a difficult few days I guess.  For a couple of weeks I've been putting up with some GI issues (I'll not explain the gory details of the condition here) and sort of kept it to myself in hopes that the symptoms would evaporate into thin air...or that I could at least wait for treatment until after the last chemo session this week.  As you can imagine, another serious health problem was the last thing I wanted us to have to deal with or worry about right now.    Alas, my abdominal pain was bad enough Saturday morning that poor Richie found me broken down to tears and I had to fess up.  Well, that afternoon we drove out to Urgent Care in Centralia for a blood draw and a stool sample, just to make sure that I didn't have anemia or a bad infection.  Results haven't come back yet, but we're convinced that it is not an infection at all.  After a doctor visit on Monday, the knowledge that Ulcerative Colitis runs in my family, as well as the knowledge that flare-ups are caused by stress, we're all pretty sure that it is Ulcerative Colitis.  I suppose my guts aren't quite as tough as I though I was.  Hopefully for now the meds that were prescribed will help.  I now need to schedule a colonoscopy (ooh fun) so that we can be sure that what I think I have IS what I have, and it's not something even worse.  As awful as the whole thing has been, I'm just happy to be here in the hospital with Richie right now.  My greatest fear was that my problem would turn out to be more serious and we'd have to be separate.    That would be more stressful to me than anything we've had to endure to this point.  Poor Richie...like he needed something else to worry about.  He asks me about every 5 minutes how I'm doing, how I'm feeling, if I'm ok.  I love him so much. 

Sunday night was a hard night.  I suppose there comes a time when a person simply grows weary of being strong, weary of waiting and wondering and worrying, weary of being scared... you just break down when the light at the end of your tunnel seems to keep moving further and further away.  But that's the time when you have to lay your burdens on the Lord and let him carry you the rest of the way; to those greener pastures that you long for so much.  I know we're going to get though this.  Richie's constantly saying "It's going to be ok!"  I don't know what I'd do without him....or my wonderful parents and sisters and brothers, or my sweet adopted family Janet and Rich who are there for us all the time, or my church family and friends who have been so supportive!  So much family, you'd wonder why I ever get discouraged!  You are all wonderful, we love you so much. 

The tears started flowing again tonight as I read the end of this passage from 1 Peter 5:
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Amen, Amen, Amen.

Today has been a busy day.  Up at 4:30,  in Seattle by 8:30, Richie had a blood draw, a CT scan, and then a meeting with the doctor to go over the results.  The CT scan showed NO SPOTS on the lungs!!!!!  That was wonderful news.  The only other tumor is the one on/near the kidney, and right now the tentative plan is to surgically remove whats left of it after Richie has recovered from this last chemo.

Finally, please pray for us!  Poor Richie started getting pretty severe nausea even before they started the chemo.  In fact, it's 7pm and they STILL haven't started the chemo.  We're way behind schedule!  Anyhow, we're not sure if the nausea is caused by all the terrible contrast dye Richie had to drink before the CT scan, or if it's just the thought of the chemo that does it to him.  (They call it "anticipatory" nausea.)  At home, even the thought of the hospital makes him nauseous sometimes.  Poor thing.  We're so anxious for this all to be but a very. distant. memory. 

THANK YOU Janet Foss for the wonderful beautiful flowers and vases you gave for our room.  They are BEAUTIFUL!  Those bright salmon pink colors are one of my favorites!  THANK YOU Mommy and Janet for decorating our room so nicely!  And THANK YOU Linda Clements for the beautiful little pillow you made!  We love it!


  1. Dearly Loved Ones (Both by the Lord and me ;-),
    We will praying extra specially for you both this week. :-)
    We pray that you won't be having any more bad and ugly days :-(, and that when you're feeling weary, God's Truth will comfort and strengthen you as you trust in His promise that "He hath made EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL in His time." Soon, very soon!

    I love you both so much and send a big hug,

  2. Hi Lydia! I know how you are feeling.. It is very terrible! Can you email me your phone number? I have some ideas that will help you like they helped me! I love you and am praying for you and Richie! ♥

  3. Such hard but GOOD things God is teaching you! You've discovered the freedom in recognizing that we don't have a certain amount of strength and are relying on God to fill us up the rest of the way. No, we have no resources apart from His, which He supplies freely. Praying for you, Lydia!

  4. Oh, sweet girl, I'm lifting you up in prayer. I wonder if trying a gluten free diet would be of any benefit to you? It seems as if Celiac Disease is more and more common. At any rate, let your doctor be your guide. And don't fret the colonoscopy. The prep is much worse than the actual event. ;)

    Take care, both of you.