Thursday, July 7, 2011

A Post For Washington Gardeners ~ Slugs

Ahhh. Us Washington gardeners just have to get a chuckle now and then.  

Some of these might actually work :-)

I think I will start paying my little brothers to catch the slugs in my garden and feed them to the chickens.  A nickel for every slug.  Everybody wins (except the slugs.) 
Or maybe I should do the blender idea.  Course. Mommy would never let me do that with our blender :-)  I know what I’m looking for at the next garage sale!    

I never see any slugs on my plants.  They are so sneaky!  (Neither one of these are my pictures, BTW.) 


1. Pick up and slam them between two bricks
2. Collect loads and stick them in a blender then paint around the area that they are in with juice, they don’t like sensing death of their own kind.
3. Beer traps
4. Keep any areas free of places for them to hide.
5. Collect them in jars and feed them to the ducks.
6. Collect them in jars, but leave jars out in sun and let them die a horrible death!
7. Chuck ‘em over the fence into the neighbor’s garden (No I never!)
8. Salt ‘em
9. Roll ‘em up in puff pastry, bake in a moderate oven for 20 minutes and tell the (guests, kids, vicar etc.) that they are party sausage rolls
11. Get out the big clippers and snip them in half
12. Protect plants with copper strip around them.
13. Sprinkling coffee grounds around lettuces, marigolds and delphiniums could help to deter snails and slugs.
14 Make a pond to attract frogs, toads and newts to eat them.
15. A sharp knife…
16. Crushed up egg shells or seashells around your plants as a barrier (slugs hate rough surfaces)
17. Use as fishing bait.
18. Nail them into the ground. (hmm is that a bit angry)
19. Borrow a chicken and let it eat them all.
20. Microwave them. (please note you will need to clean your microwave afterwards)
21. Use them for golf practice.  (I wonder how THAT would work?)  
22. Use them in artwork
23. Apply parasitic nematodes
24. Razor blades
25. Open a hedgehog sanctuary
26. Serve them to unpopular visitors, pretending they are “the finest French snails”
27. Learn to love them. Understand that in the eternal cycle of life, in the endless continuum of existence, they are no less significant (or hungry) than you and I, and no less deserving of love. Embrace them.  (You gotta be kidding me.)
28. Leave a bucket in a damp grassy area for a couple of days to collect slugs underneath and then flick them to the chickens.
29. Use a glut of home made ginger beer in beer traps
30. Superglue
31. Double-sided sticky tape
32. Breed carnivorous slugs
33. Putting boiling water over them.
34. When cold add to compost heap.
35. Put an unbroken smear of Vaseline around the rim of flower pots or containers.
36. Live in a desert.

37. Live in the Arctic.
38. Become a slug breeder and grow lettuce as feedstock.
39. Cut plastic milk bottles into deep rings. Slide these over individual plants and push into the soil so there’s a good few inches sticking up.
40. Use a flame weeder
41. Spray gun with 25% ammonia/75% water solution. Go on the prowl at night in your PJ’s with your torch and sprayer – to entertain your neighbors.
42. Use barrier crops around plants that attract slugs. So, if you’re growing lettuce, cabbage, comfrey, beans etc, then surround them with things like garlic, mint, chives, sage, fennel, chicory and endive.
43. Pick them up, baby talk them whilst tickling them under their chins (YES they have chins!!!!) and then teach them to fly and teach them to swim (chuck em in the river!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)… 
44. Lovingly feed them with Bran, it will expand inside them and kill them

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