Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Showing Sympathy To Your Husband


“Keeping up a constant interest in what the other is doing shows love.”  ~Homemaking J.R. Miller

I’ll have to start this out with some explaining ;-)  I am, by no means a good wife…(how could I be, I’m not even married!)  but I am working on BECOMING that woman of God that is focused on serving first the Lord, and second my family.  I am learning, just like you are!  I have been so blessed to have the resources to begin learning these things before I am married. 

One of the things that stuck in my mind from Debi’s book “Preparing to Be a Helpmeet” was the different kinds of men.  There are 3 basic types, and they all have different ways of seeing things…which of course means, us girls are gonna need to “figure them out.” ;-) 

  Debi categorized them into the “Prophet” man, the “Priest” man, and the “King” man.  It was really just a way for her to categorize their different personalities. 

Today I’m going to focus on one aspect of the “Prophet” man, because I believe this applies to almost ANY type of guy. 

You like it when people show interest in your little plans projects and dreams don’t you?  It goes the same for guys.  One of the most essential parts of our job as wives will be to always show interest.  You should be ready to ohhh and ahhh over his next idea, plan, project or accomplishment, whether it’s really exciting to you or not. 

The “Prophet type man wants you to be interested in what he is interested in.  Will you be?  It is incredibly encouraging to the men when we show that we care!  Yeah, a lot of times the things they do are more complicated than doing the laundry.  And hearing every step in building a garage or changing a tire (I’m sorry for the rather lame examples!) may not be all that exciting to you.  But this is an important factor in strengthening your marriage.  My job is to be a listener, to have an open ear and to be ready and willing to give advice or insight.  You want your husband to feel like he can talk with you about ANYTHING, and you will be there to listen to him. 

Learn to listen.  It can be a hard thing to do, and requires forgetting yourself.  Take the focus off of your day, and everything that happened at home while he was gone.   

 I think of an old Dick Van Dyke show where he came home after a horrible day, and she had a bad day too.  They both started to unload all of the day’s problems on each other, and before you knew it, the scene evolved into a “but don’t you care that I had a bad day too?” argument.  This scenario was sad to me, since I have heard of it happening often, and I know it doesn’t have to be that way.  One of the main things is NEVER TO COMPLAIN.  As much as you may feel like it sometimes, don’t let yourself.  There’s nothing worse for a guy than to come home after a long day to a wife that complains about everything.   Try to think about what went WELL during your day.  (There has to be something!) And if you’re living like most every American is, food for breakfast lunch and dinner, a house over your head…then think about what you have to be thankful for. 

There will be those days…. the dog tracked mud on the carpet when you brought him in because he was acting sick, and then the kid’s grilled cheese burned because you were busy bandaging a broken toe you gave yourself when you went running to clean up the accident your 2 year old had in the bathroom because you were too busy washing the sinkful of yesterday’s dishes to help him.  I know those kinds of days, and I’m not even a mother!  But that shouldn’t happen all the time, and when it does, you’re man will give you some grace I’m sure!!!

Another thing is, be sympathetic.  It is amazing what a sympathetic heart can do for the one who’s had a bad day. You want home to be the place he can come back to and be re-energized and encouraged, and where he knows someone is waiting to hear about his day and sympathize with him.

“She is made happy by being taken in to all his counsels, and thus lifted up close beside him in his life-work, and he is mad stronger too, for energetic duty and for heroic achievement by her warm sympathy and by the inspiration of her cheerful encouragement.  Whether the day should bring defeat, failure, or success, he should confide all to her in the evening.”  ~Homemaking  J.R. Miller

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